This semester at uni has been pretty damn stressful. "Good one" I would mutter to myself, "So much for choosing easy units to make your last semester at university less stressful." You see, I thought that since I've always done quite well in assignments as opposed to exams, and by choosing units that had no exams, it would allow me to have a enjoyable, stress-free last hoorah before I leave this institution. Instead, what I had done, was create a whole lot of "inter semester" stress in lieu of the lack of "intra" or "post" semester stress with the whole exam period. So... this whole semester has been a count down of assignments.
1. Criminology - 50% weight
2. Advanced Torts Assignment 1 - 50% weight
3. Employment Law - 30% weight
4. Advanced Torts Assignment 2 - 50% weight.
Disgusting really. I have so far laboured away at 3, and am working on the last Advanced Torts Assignment which is due this Friday.
Last night I got a message from a classmate of mine from Criminology, asking how I went with the assignment as himself and a friend had failed it. I totally went into freaking out mode. I had not gone to lectures since the Lecturer merely reads off his very detailed notes, and I had rationalised it with "well, I can spend better time doing my assignments than going to the lectures." I then remembered another friend who had done the unit before telling me that the Lecturer was a hard marker. So... I messaged another classmate who had done the unit and asked how he went. He said he passed, giving me some light of hope. What was a night of me being pumped up full of stress from my Torts Assignment and other matters, had just increased 1000x fold.
I couldn't think. I couldn't read. I played poker on facebook and won 2000 though. (YAY). But still I had a sick feeling in my stomach... I sick feeling that hey, I might just scrape through to pass this semester, or just miss out on passing. I have been working so very hard lately with no avail. Nothing has been going my way... everyone is on my back for something or some reason and I truly feel like cracking.
This morning I woke up early, packed my bags and went to uni to collect the assignment. I had done it such a long time ago, I couldn't remember what I had written. I remember changing my assignment on the advice of the 2 classmates who had failed... which made me feel like stabbing myself in the stomach. "Idiot!" So I went to the law office, collected it... and waited till I got well outside the law building so I don't feel the ghosts of past law students who had become politicians, lawyers... judges, looming over me and my mark, laughing and saying "You never had it in you little girl."
So I was at the mid point from the law building and reid library, I opened my assignment to my first page a few ticks here and there (but in law school, a whole lot of ticks could still lead you to a mere CR... a puzzling anomaly). There was a comment at the bottom of my introduction "Good. You have told me what you set out to do." Throughout my paper there were comments like "Good Show me," few of them were points to note like "This is a major rationale of criminal justice systems worldwide," and "At the Fed Level, Eg the 'Alcopop' tax." But me being me, I am always second guessing myself, there is always this strong sense of self doubt. So I get to the final page. There is this HUGE feedback comment. I saw the mark and let a sigh of relief.
"I passed!" I told Will over the phone. I had promised to tell him my mark. "Thats good!" he said. "I got a 73!" I blurted out... I couldn't hold it any longer! I was soooo happy. Finally... something to demonstrate to me that "No look Anna, your not a total lost." I felt and feel so relieved. I feel like this sense of vindication... like "Yeah! Take it pompus law school! The non-conforming law student CAN bring something worthwhile to the table."
Yea... I'm beeming. But now, I should really get to my Advanced Torts Assignment. I promised myself that I would work extra hard on this assignment in "celebration" of my small, but huge personal achievement. *Hoorah!*
Labels: Law, Opinion, Random, Studying, University
posted by anna at 9:30 AM
